A League of Extraordinary Women

In researching my family history, I have realized that I come from a tradition of strong women.

My great-grandmother and my grandmother

Women who were known for their generosity and for their strength.  Women who had healthy marriages, but who were also independent.  Women who knew that it is more important to invest in the marriage than to invest in the wedding.

My grandmother and grandfather

Women who exhibited the love of Christ, who took care of their own families, and who took care of others.  Women who sacrificed their own pleasures for others.

My mother and me

Women who had fun, creativity, and talent.

My mother-in-law

We leave to my daughters a great heritage.

Four Generations: My grandmother, my mother, me, and my children

And women who, when they are gone, will enter Grace and wait for us patiently on the Other Side.  We will see them again.

A TIME OF SORROW

Here now, I lay me down to rest

God has my soul, my life was blest

A time to mourn and a time to weep

Oh take me Lord into thy keep

In this time of mourning and deep grief

we pray your sorrow be but brief

Look up to Heaven for your strength

we know his love goes any length

Even though she's here no more

picture her at Heaven's Door

as to dust she returns to Earth

it signifies her Eternal Birth

She's standing in the arms of Grace

and looking at God's holy face

Our bodies here must pass away

her job now?  Sing Praise!! all day

Those earthy ails are here no more

she's dancing on the Golden Shore

Let her dance in your mind's eye

see her happy; don't wonder why

Memories might make you sad

remember the life she had

while you're in the midst of grief

let God's Spirit bring relief

One day you'll say, I'm doing just fine

"Beauty from Ashes" can take some time

Let this hope keep tears at bay:

Together we will be some day!

Jamie Franck Turner

© March 2012

Happy Birthday, Grandma

Monday, May 3, 2010

Yesterday was my grandmother's 91st birthday. It was a bittersweet day for me. Her 91 years are certainly worth celebration. I miss, however, talking to her on her birthday. You see, I used to always make it a point to call Grandma on her birthday. The last time I did that was May 2007, three years ago. On that day when I called, she could not understand everything I was saying on the phone. I believed she knew who I was, but she also may have believed I was one of her daughters. She did not understand whose birthday it was, and she became extremely upset, thinking that she had forgotten someone's birthday that she was supposed to remember. When our phone conversation was over, I realized that she was no longer able to speak to me on the phone. Several months later, it became difficult for her to even recognize her own children.

You have probably realized at this point that my grandmother has Alzheimer's. It is a terrible disease that steals those we love and leaves an empty shell. The last time I saw her was summer 2006. She was living in her own house and taking care of herself, but she must have realized even then that something was wrong. Before I left, she said, "You know you have a good husband. I've always liked him. You take care of each other, and take care of those beautiful children. If I don't see you again here, I'll see you on the other side." I cried as we drove away, wondering why she thought she would not see me again. Or perhaps she was letting me know that she wanted me to remember her the way she was then, not as the empty shell that she had watched her sister become several years before. Shortly thereafter, we were transferred to the opposite coast for several years, and I have not seen her again. She is well-cared-for. My parents and my dad's siblings visit her regularly and see to her care. She is cheerful and loving to the strangers that now surround her every day, and my mother said that perhaps she still has some work to do for the Lord on this earth, to encourage someone somehow.

My grandmother's life has always been about working for the Lord. A preacher's wife, she raised five children with my grandfather, then lived in retirement with him until he went home to be with the Lord more than 10 years ago. After God, her family was the most important to her, and she always made time for family. She played the piano for church services until she could no longer read the music, and then she kept playing by ear or from memory. She was thrilled when my husband became a Navy Chaplain, and she prayed for him faithfully every time he deployed. I called her sometimes when I just wanted to talk. She understood my feelings when we moved so frequently, when I was getting established in a new church and making friends, my love for music, and the joys and trials of raising children and working in a ministry. She'd been there. She could always put my feelings into words. She always prayed for me, as well as for all of her other children and grandchildren, every night.

Grandma called me right after 9-11-01. I was expecting my second child, and I was due any day. Like so many in my generation, I was about to bring new life into a world that was changing before my eyes, and we did not know what the future would hold. But that is not new to our generation. Grandma was expecting when Pearl Harbor was bombed, and my dad was born the next day. We gave our daughter Grandma's name for her middle name.

Now that Grandma's mind has been claimed by Alzheimer's, I do miss her, but I know that our bond cannot be broken. She is still there, somewhere, still a daughter of the King, still living for Him in her own way. Someday she will see Him face to face, and her mind will be cleared. The disease will be obliterated, and she will be reunited with the ones she loves who have gone before. I will see her there, in that great Morning, just as she promised four summers ago.

Until then, happy birthday, Grandma. We love you.

The Family Tree

Friday, August 14, 2009

One of the greatest gifts that I think we can give our children is the gift of knowing their extended family. For many of us in the military, this can be difficult. My young children sometimes only see their grandparents once a year, and they haven't seen their cousins since our last duty station, over two years ago. Since I am a scrapbooking/picture queen, I use pictures to help my kids supplement their memories of extended family members. It is amazing how well this works. Even when they are young, they immediately recognize and feel like they know people whom they haven't seen in a while. The older children can begin understanding simple family trees to see who is related to whom.

My oldest son absolutely loves his grandparents (not that all the children don't, but he is very exuberant about their relationship)! When he was about 3 and my husband returned from a deployment, my son introduced my husband to his own mother! My son didn't really understand how Grandma was related, and since Daddy had been gone for so long, my son didn't remember Daddy and Grandma ever meeting.

Recently, I have joined my mother-in-law in some research and album-making of the family history. One interesting thing we have discovered is the extensive involvement of the various branches of our family tree in the Church. Also, since I was adopted, when I was a child, I never knew anyone from whom I had actually inherited genes. Though this has never bothered me, it has been fascinating for me to see photographs from the 1800s of people in my husband's family who look eerily like my own children.

My mother-in-law and I worked off-and-on for two years scanning in her old pictures, with me typing in every detail she could tell me about them. Then after Christmas this past year, I spent a solid six months - countless hours - working very hard on this album. I made it digitally on my Mac, so now I can make copies for anyone in the family who wants one. I input all the family tree information we had into Reunion for Mac. I was able to make family trees of the different branches of the family from this software, and pull them right into my scrapbook, made with the iRemember program. I even have the family tree, complete with pictures, on my iPhone! This is so much better than the old paper way to record family data! Once I finished, I made a copy of the 187-page book for my mother-in-law, and one for myself. I use the term "finished" loosely, since now family members are helping me make corrections and possibly add some old pictures they've had tucked away. This could be a whole-extended-family-work-in-progress for years to come - another reason to make the project digitally, for ease in making changes and corrections! My mother-in-law loves the book, and I am glad I was able to make it for her. But the real reward for me? Seeing my children pour over the pages. They love looking at the pictures and reading the stories, and realizing that they have a connection to the people on these pages. They are learning about making family trees and preserving history. But more importantly, they are getting to know their roots. I plan to make corrections and additions to this book, and also to do one for my side of the family. Someday, I'll be looking at them with my grandchildren.

Even if you don't have extensive family research available, consider making your children some photo albums of extended family members. If you like to scrapbook, this could be a fun project to do with your children. If not, just purchase an inexpensive pocket-size photo album and fill it with pictures. You'll be giving your kids the gift of family. Not to mention the gift you are giving Grandma, when even young children act like they know her well after not seeing her for a year or more!

Happy Scrapping!