Sunday, October 17, 2010
It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like - "Subtle Hints" Time!
You know the game. You are almost out of your favorite (rather expensive) perfume. So you say - in plain hearing of your husband, during the commercial of a football game - "Darn! I'm almost out of my favorite perfume!" You will comment on the shortage several times between now and Christmas. "Oh, honey, sorry I don't have any perfume on tonight. I completely ran out! But I guess I won't buy myself any this close to Christmas. We have gifts to get for other people." And so it goes, until Christmas Eve. Christmas morning, your husband hands you a nice little package with a big cat-that-swallowed-the-canary grin on his face. You tear it open, ready to put on your new perfume, and it is - a purse-size tool kit for you to keep in your car. Or nail polish remover. Or a new drill. "Oh, sorry, honey," he says. "You don't think you'll use the drill much? Well, I can keep it out at my workbench for you!"
You probably wanted something besides perfume for Christmas, but if you're married, you've probably played the game. And you had the same thought: "I practically hit him over the head with a 2 x 4, and he didn't get it at all!"
So if you are married, or engaged, or think you may ever get married or have any kind of a relationship with a man in the future, let me share a lesson with you that I learned from my good friend Pam in the earlier days of my marriage. "Oh, I'm so excited!" she exclaimed. "Marvin is taking me on a real date tonight! We are going to dinner at my favorite restaurant, and he made the reservations and arranged for the babysitter and everything! I wonder what made him think of being so sweet?" After a pause, she continued. "Oh, it was probably when I said, 'Marvin, I need you to take me on a real date this week. I need you to make the reservations at my favorite restaurant and arrange for the babysitter. I need you to treat me like I'm special!'" Marvin took the hint!
Yes, ladies, we often have to completely spell it out for them. It's not because they are slow, or stupid, or they don't care. It's just because men and women are different. You know that. You've heard it a million times before. My husband will not remember anything I tell him during a football game. When I think I am heavily hinting that I want a particular thing, he thinks I am mentioning something I saw in the store in passing. Like, "Honey, I bought milk today, and I thought maybe I should get some chicken because the freezer is running low." And he says, "Oh, OK."
So I pledged that although I love perfect surprises, I will not expect my husband to read my mind. I will not get upset when he buys a perfectly good birthday gift but forgets to get me a card, even though he knows I scrapbook and I love birthday cards to put in my scrapbooks. I will not get upset when he goes shopping Christmas week or the night before my birthday because he forgot earlier. And I will not leave "subtle hints." When I want something, I will leave great big, screaming-billboard, colossal hints. Several years ago I wanted a die-cutter for Christmas. It was on sale at a local store. So I cut out the coupon, cut out the ad, and put them on my husband's desk, saying, "If you are looking for a nice Christmas gift, here's one at this store. Here is a coupon for it, and it is on sale until Friday." Imagine my surprise when I unwrapped the die-cutter Christmas morning!
It was a surprise. You see, I still wasn't sure he would pick up on my hint. I might have been too subtle.
So girls, do your hubbies a favor this Christmas. Don't make them play a guessing game. If you'd like a little surprise, make a list of about 5 different things that you want, and he can pick one. Make it easy for him. You'll be happier, and he'll love you for not putting the stress of staying out of the doghouse on him.